Forbidden Fruit
by Leather Sky
Summary: Persona 3. Shinji/Junpei, Shinji/Aki. 3 chapters, very narrow timespan beginning somewhere after Sept. 3rd /ch1/ and then 10th /ch2/ and with spoilers for Sep/Oct/Nov. Kind of twisted, no happy endings.
1. Chapter 1

"Why don't you ever make anything special for _me_?" Junpei was in the kitchen, scratching Koromaru behind his ears and watching Shinjiro make his special gourmet dog food.

"You ain't cute and fuzzy." Shinji flicked the bill of Junpei's hat up, revealing his close-shaven head. "Hell, you ain't even fuzzy."

"So?" Junpei scowled and pulled his hat back into place. "I make up for it by being devastatingly handsome." Koromaru whined uncertainly.

"Devastatingly stupid, maybe." Shinji went back to chopping.

"Oh man, not you too…I get that enough from Yuka-tan."

"You mean…someone else pointed out that you're an idiot before I did? …I'm shocked."

Junpei looked up at him angrily and Koromaru found an excuse to trot off. "Okay, well then…if I'm so stupid, why hasn't anyone else noticed that you and Akihiko-senpai are _doing it_?"

Shinji dropped the knife. It fell to the floor with a clatter. Quick as thought, he recovered it and pointed it at Junpei. "_What did you say?_" His voice shook.

"Jeez, it's not like I'm going to tell anyone…" Junpei's voice trembled a little bit too, but it was from fear and not rage. He tried to scoot his chair back a little. "No reason to get so upset."

"You don't have anything _**to**_ tell anyone, because what you just said is a crock of bull."

Before he could help himself, Junpei raised his eyebrows and said "Oh? When did you two stop?"

Shinji forced himself to calm down and after a moment he even managed a withering smile. "You really are stupid. Where the hell did you even get an idea like that?"

Junpei looked at the linoleum floor. After a minute he said softly, "Because he told me he loved somebody else."

For a long moment the kitchen was completely silent. Then Shinji cleared his throat. "He said that, did he?"

"Uh huh."

"And you assumed it was me. Well that's _awful_ sweet, but--"

Junpei looked up. "Cut it out, Senpai. Look, you think I didn't wrack my brains trying to figure out who? Then you came here and I knew. It was plain as fucking day. Maybe you're not too bad at hiding it, but he--"

"All right, shut up. Look, it's complicated, all right? It's stupid and pointless and complicated, and maybe there used to be something but it's over now. And _you_, you pathetic little faggot, got told that bullshit so he wouldn't have to deal with you. Face it. He was trying to spare your feelings."

Junpei looked dangerously like he could cry, to Shinji's discomfort. Instead though he gulped and said, "You guys are the ones who are pathetic. If you still love each other, you should just get back together."

"…yeah, well. He's too stubborn." The answer was awkward because it was so painfully true. Shinji hoped that it would satisfy Junpei, but apparently that wasn't going to happen.

"But--" Junpei still had his innate optimism. Leaving things like that seemed stupid to him.

"Look, no offense, but **back the fuck off**. I've already tried and it's no good. And you might as well realize, if you haven't already: if he thinks he's too good for _me_, he sure as hell isn't going to be interested in a whiny little shit like you." That was probably going to make him cry for sure, or leave, but at least he'd shut up.

Again, he didn't do what Shinji expected; he just stayed there, head a little down, lips pursed. Irritating little bastard, what did it take to get rid of him? Insults weren't doing it, so he decided to make him feel threatened instead. He propped Junpei's chin up with one of his fingers, fixing him with the most brutally condescending smile he had in his arsenal. " 'Course, I suppose you might be good for _one_ thing, anyway."

Junpei sat there dumbly with his hands on his knees for a moment before he said, "…all right…"

Shinjiro let Junpei's chin drop and scowled at him, backing up a step. "I wasn't asking--"

Junpei just looked back at him hollowly. "Weren't you?"

Everything after that happened like a reel of film that started and stopped, or skipped over certain mundane details. Shinji couldn't remember washing up or giving Koromaru his plate. He didn't remember going back to his room. The next image that came to him vividly was his hand, pressed against the top of Junpei's head, with the late afternoon sunlight glaring off the right side of Junpei's face. He'd had to turn the hat around because otherwise it kept him too far away from Shinji's stomach to do anything. The look on his face was determined and he didn't glance up at Shinji once either for guidance or approval as he did it, even though Shinji could tell there was no way in hell he had done this before. He only criticized him one time, though, saying "Christ, keep your teeth back." And later when Junpei got the hang of it he made sure to rub his jaw and say, "Yeah, that's good."

He managed to finish, even though it was weird, and he watched sympathetically as Junpei coughed and ducked his head. He knelt down so that they were at eye level and said, "Good boy." But Junpei pulled back when he tried to kiss him.

"Don't…it'd be the wrong thing to do, right?"

"If you mean 'cos of what you just did, I mean…it's mine. So I don't really care."

"No…I mean, because we don't love each other. So…it'd be wrong…"

Shinji stroked his cheek. "…if that's how you want it."

Fast forward to Junpei leaving, awkwardly. At some point the light in the room was gone and it was time to turn on the lamp. After that, no memories again…Shinji supposed he had been standing there thinking. After awhile he just headed back to the lounge.


	2. Chapter 2

Akihiko had gone to the ramen place with the idea of finding Shinji. There had to be some way or another of convincing him to try and get off the drugs. He couldn't just stand by and watch his friend kill himself, and he refused to believe it was already too late. He smiled a little when he spotted Shinji in his usual place, but then a confused look replaced his smile. Junpei was eating with him…unusual. They were just finishing up.

Junpei tugged on his wallet chain absentmindedly to pay for his ramen but Shinji reached over and clamped a hand on his wrist. When Junpei looked at him questioningly, Shinji just shook his head and slid the wallet back into Junpei's pocket. "You can pay me back later."

Akihiko instinctively faded back into a corner, more confused than ever. But if the easy way Shinji had touched Junpei and the oddness of his statement had been strange, what Junpei said next was even more suspicious. "…sure you can wait 'til later?"

That seemed to be some kind of signal and Shinji threw his money down on the table and dragged Junpei out of the restaurant. Akihiko genuinely didn't know what to do, but it sure seemed like something was wrong. After another moment's hesitation, he followed them. He told himself it was just to make sure everything was all right and refused to acknowledge the different warring emotions in the back of his mind.

The emotions got free once he realized where Shinji was taking Junpei, though. That was…_their _place. That was the place where… Akihiko's jaw set. He should just go back now. He didn't need to see this. But…maybe there was another reason…besides, why in the hell would Shinji be going there with _Junpei_ of all people? They had nothing in common.

Akihiko let them get well ahead. Perhaps he was still giving himself time to turn back. In the end though, he came to the place; holding his breath, he quietly glanced around the corner. Yes, there they were. Yes, they were doing it. He felt his fists clench. They were doing it like two animals in heat. He knew he should go, but it had been a long time since he'd seen Shinji like that, and he had to watch for just a little longer. His face relaxed and he let out a breath, silently. He gripped at the brick wall to his back, and remembered…

He glanced at Junpei. Had he looked like that? He wondered. Then he panicked a little as Junpei almost seemed to read his thoughts. "Did you…is this how you were with…him?" He rasped it between uneven breaths, hands raw-pressed against the wall. Akihiko shrank back but it was clear that he was still unobserved.

Shinji smiled a little. "No." He pulled Junpei's hips closer with a sudden movement and Junpei groaned and didn't ask anything else. Akihiko watched them both finish, close on each other, and then watched Shinji try to kiss the back of Junpei's neck and the way that Junpei pulled away. Shinji just smiled tolerantly down at his bowed head. "Not even that much…huh?" After that Akihiko left. The streets and shops and alleys all ran together in his vision, but he wasn't crying. He didn't cry about things anymore.

--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--

The next day there was a familiar rap at Shinjiro's door. When he grunted "Come in," Akihiko unexpectedly strode in and shut the door. He looked like he meant business.

Shinji blinked. "…to what do I owe this honor?"

"Cut the bullshit. What the hell are you doing with Junpei?"

"If you didn't want him fucking around you shouldn't have rejected him." Shinij's voice was mild and possibly a little amused.

"Don't be an ass." Akihiko sat down heavily on the bed. "…if that's the reason he came to you, don't you think that's a pretty bad reason to…to…"

"Come on, Aki. Don't you think it's cute when a kouhai confesses to you? You can't honestly expect me to resist all that innocent virginal schoolboy charm."

"Yeah, well, you've ruined _that_ for him already I see."

"Sorry you had to miss out."

"…did you do it to hurt me? Is that it?" For Akihiko asking something like that was an admission of defeat, but he had to know.

"That's pretty egotistical, isn't it? You were the one who told me no."

"Because I wanted you to straighten yourself out! I never said I didn't still…"

Shinji looked thoughtfully at Akihiko for a moment. "Well that's almost _sweet_. Not that it does either one of us a damned bit of good now."

Akihiko closed his eyes. "…you're right. Sorry. I should have just left it…try and treat him right, okay?" He got up to leave.

Shinji watched him. "Hey. Aki."

Akihiko paused with his hand on the knob. In a dead voice, he said, "What."

"Don't you want to tell me…to dump him, or something? To give it up? Don't you want proof?"

"I want you to be a fucking man and take responsibility for your actions." Akihiko's voice was bitter. "You can't just use him and then throw him away."

"Why not? He's using me." Shinji smiled. "He talks about you. I know he's thinking about you, too…_during_ it I mean."

"Poor you."

"Yeah. Poor me."

Akihiko shut the door behind him.


	3. Chapter 3

Junpei lay at his feet, not breathing. Everything was hazy. He felt elated and satisfied by something he had just done, but he also felt sick and ashamed somewhere deeper than that. Disjointed voices floated out of the mist to him. "NO! _What are you doing_?" That was…Fuuka's voice. Then Akihiko's head cleared suddenly and Minato was giving him the last of the Dis-Charm and being very careful to tell him it wasn't his fault.

Akihiko blinked, looked down at Junpei again. They were reviving him. He looked bad. When Junpei could open his eyes again the first thing he did was look up at him…and try to back away. His knuckles were still a little sore…what had he done? Suddenly he knew. He turned sharply to glance at Shinji, but Shinji had his back to them all. Akihiko forced himself to turn back and face Junpei. He reached out his hand to him. "Junpei…I'm so sorry."

Junpei got up on his own without a word. Behind them, Shinji grunted that it was time they were moving on.

--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--

It was after Dark Hour now. Akihiko tossed and turned, unable to sleep. Half-memories of beating Junpei within an inch of his life earlier fought unwelcome curiosity (were he and Shinji doing it right now?) for control of his mind. Finally he slammed both fists against his bed in utter frustration and got up. He was just taping his hands with the idea of doing some training when the knock came at his door.

He didn't say anything, just crossed over and opened it. Junpei stood there but he didn't come in when Akihiko moved back a little. Instead, he said "I won't anymore."

"…what?"

"I'm done. So don't worry." He turned to go.

Inside their binding Akihiko's fingers tensed. "If this is about earlier, I never would have--not on purpose--"

Junpei shook his head. "I know that. I was with him just now. He had an…I don't even know what you call it. I didn't realize it was this bad."

Akihiko's eyes widened and he started forward. "Shinji?! What happened…is he okay?"

"Yeah…well, yeah. Considering. He's sleeping now. I would have come here earlier but I didn't want to leave him. …You should go over there." Junpei didn't look at him.

Akihiko was already ripping the tape off again, leaving raw red patches on his knuckles. It was a far cry from the awkward words of apology he had tried to muster for Junpei earlier…this was _true_ concern. Junpei felt very much alone for the second time that night…the first had been when he was trying to help Shinjiro get through his attack or whatever it was--and Shinji had asked for Akihiko. He could never touch what was between these two. It was just as well to stop now before he really humiliated himself.

A moment later Junpei was forced out of his thoughts when Akihiko came back, clearly anxious to get past him to Shinji's room. Junpei stepped back, head bent a little. He knew he as he did so that he was stepping out of the picture, backing away from the whole thing. Akihiko rushed past and then paused.

"What are you waiting for?" Junpei's voice held carefully disguised bitterness. "He said he needs you…_go_."

Akihiko didn't turn around. "You're needed too, Junpei. If you'd just realize it." Then he went on his way. Shinji's door opened and then shut, quietly, and that was the end.

Junpei didn't understand quite what Akihiko meant just then, but he began to realize it more as the days went on. As he spent more and more of his days after school sitting by her bedside quietly, watching her draw, and then later when he held her in his arms and listened to her last words…he did know what it was to be needed.

And then he and Akihiko were both alone again.

--//--//--//--//--//--//--//--

For awhile both of them just existed. They did what was necessary while they slowly rebuilt their separate worlds. Akihiko recovered first, since everything had toppled down for him first…and then when he was able, he did his best to raise his head and look after the others again.

One night Junpei put down Chidori's sketchbook and realized it was late. The only other person still around was Akihiko; he hadn't moved from his place next to him at the table. Otherwise the lounge was empty. "It's almost Dark Hour…are we due…?"

Akihiko shook his head. "Not tonight. Minato had something to do."

"…I guess we should go then…it's not like we get to sleep that much these days."

"No, we don't." Akihiko didn't make any move to get up.

Junpei didn't either. He sat staring into the middle distance for awhile before he stirred and turned to face Akihiko. "You don't have to answer me…but…"

"Yeah?"

"…before he…I mean, was everything okay? Did everything turn out okay?"

Akihiko nodded. Didn't say yes, just nodded. Junpei sat back again. He was startled a moment later when Akihiko suddenly stood up. "I've been thinking that maybe things wouldn't have worked out if you hadn't been so stupid."

Junpei frowned. "Well…thanks I guess."

Akihiko leaned down. Junpei's hands slipped off the table and couldn't find anything to do for a moment or two before they curled themselves against the chair-back. He didn't remember the last time he had breathed. Then he was blinking uncertainly and watching Akihiko's receding back as he walked over to the stairs.

"That was your first one, right?" he said without turning, one hand already on the banister.

"I…yeah, I guess so."

"Well, I hope it was good. I'm not kissing you again." In another moment he was out of sight. Junpei lowered his head again and pictured him walking to his room, shutting the door, his face expressionless as ever. But then again, maybe it wasn't…he hadn't let Junpei see.

Finally Junpei went up to his own room. As he switched off the light and settled into bed he thought about Chidori…and Shinjiro. Did he feel regret? He fell asleep before he could find an answer. There probably was none.

But the one thing he knew when he woke up was that he no longer felt alone.


End file.
